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Realizing just how much I wanted life with him terrified me personally.

Realizing just how much I wanted life with him terrified me personally.

It felt cruel for me to want this man, THIS man, 16 years my junior and who I believed was sure to abandon and hurt me that it was possible. Therefore I attempted to destroy my desire by gathering any flaw, mistake, and inconsistency i really could find and hurling them at him 1 by 1. The much deeper we dropped, the greater amount of fearful we became, as well as the more I seemed for flaws to indicate and criticize. We thought I would stop loving him if We knew precisely how deeply problematic and immature he had been. Alternatively, I’d provided him valid reason to keep me personally, and I happened to be more afraid than ever before which he would.